In the dog-eat-dog world we live in, it is a bit hard to trust other people. There is always that question of, “What’s in it for me?” Take a step back and consider this question instead, “How can I help that person?” This simple question will help you in get what you want by creating a win-win deal.
In business you want to work with people you like, and people you trust. You buy from these people, and you even refer your friends to them. But what makes you like another individual? Usually the person makes you feel good about yourself. When people make a deal with each other, they need to feel good afterwards. They can walk away feeling respected because they were treated fairly. They also feel good about helping the other person. In making a deal, make sure that both parties will feel good about yourselves after the handshake. These seven tips are proven to help you get what you want out of any situation.
Get what you want: The 7 Steps of a Win-Win Deal
Know what you need
Once you have established a particular item or service that you need, then you can figure out a way to get it. Know how important this particular item is in your list of goals: Is the item necessary to complete a task? How significant is it in your life? Are you willing to take the time to negotiate a great deal for this item? Remember that negotiating is an art and it takes time and passion.
Make the other person’s interest in your deal more important than your need (or at the same level).
How can you help this person? What do they need to reach their goals? Do you have something that they need? What skills can you offer to make them successful? What value can you add to their lives? What are they passionate about? It is all about them! Asking these questions helps you understand what they need, and what makes them happy.
~adapted from How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Check your integrity
After assessing the other person’s interests, make sure that it is in line with your values, morals and skills. Be honest with what you are capable of, and if you can deliver in a timely fashion. Trust is something both parties need to earn. Be honest from the start, and let the other person know the limitations you have, as well as the skills you can offer to make their lives more successful.
~adapted from The Art of Influence by Chris Widener
Nobody wants to work with someone who always sees the negative side. Being a cynic is not the same as being realistic. Cynical people are judgmental, righteous and closed minded. Being positive is not being naive, it is being open minded. Being positive is hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. You are not always in control, but you have control of your mind, and people love working with people who have a positive vibe!
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If you were in their position, what would you do? Listen without judgment. Give them the benefit of the doubt. We are all trying to do the best we can. When you have good intentions for others, you will also get good karma—both with the deal, and beyond.
If this person is someone you want to work with and help, then help this person. Let them know how you can help them. Be generous with your time without losing your priorities. Be genuine with your offer in order to maintain your integrity. Offer referrals, or find other people who can help if needed. Be the first one to help.
Ask for what you want. Always ask. What is the worst thing that could happen? If they say no, you can live. You won’t die. Asking doesn’t guarantee you the answer that you hope for, but the act of asking for it is empowering. Maybe they say no right now, but you will have instilled in their minds what will make you happy. If you mean something to them, or if they value your professional relationship, they will eventually compromise, or give you what you need.
You can barter for anything. If you take the time to know more about other people, then creating a win-win deal is easy. How can you make the other person feel like it will be their loss if they turn the deal down? How can you make them feel like you are doing this to help them and at the same time, also making them feel good that they are helping you?
If the other person feels that you have offered them a deal they cannot refuse, then both parties win. After all, it is only a deal if both parties are valued, and if both parties are happy.