By Vera Remes
The sensitive secret keeper and how to spot them
Do you know some who is a patient, sensitive secret keeper, a “sin-eater”? This is someone you go to and confess the aberrant things you do just so you can get them off your chest. The sin-eater puts their ego and needs aside to patiently and nonjudgmentally listen to your stories. They offer advice and never seem upset when you refuse to listen, returning to yet again confess the same thing. Chances are that the sin-eater is posing in this role for others, too. They are the people we turn to because of their nonjudgmental attitudes and accepting personalities, their way of making us feel accepted and acceptable.
But consider this: perhaps they can’t walk away from these conversations without being affected by the stress of listening to people’s secrets. The stress of being a sounding board may very likely contort their neck and back or impose a malaise, contemplating the situations of this world.
Personal Currency and the sin eater
These people are the sensitive ones, the ones whose personal currency is backed by kindness and compassion. They have made several deposits in your emotional bank, but emotional currency is dynamite if not handled correctly. “Owing” them for their kindness and compassion should not be quid pro quo. It should be a balance of deposits and withdrawals, freely made and given. What do you give back to them?
Personal currency runs through any relationship or friendship or family dynamic. If withdrawals are overdrawn, others feel used. If others are only making deposits, we feel used. It’s really better not to keep count, but human nature and emotional investment make never checking the balance difficult. No one is so selfless that they can be a sin-eater all the time.
Are you the sin-eater? Do you know so many secrets that you can’t even talk to yourself? If so, perhaps a little bit of distancing should be in your future, at least until the scales even out.
Support for the sensitive secret keeper
Being a sensitive, or a secret keeper can be a burden that is hard to bear. The good news is that you’re not alone. There are resources to help you become more grounded. And that grounding will allow you to give to yourself when needed so that you have the energy to continue to help others. Let us show you the best times to say no, and the best times to open that heart wide. This may be through mental/spiritual support, or through physical activity that reprograms your heart and mind to give you what you need before funneling that energy into and through others.
Contact Vera at ravenreiki.com to learn more about how she’s helped herself and her sensitive secret keeping clients grow into a new stage of personal development. Or try a mini coaching session with Danielle Rose to help you find the right methods of personal growth that are the best fit for you.