Reflection as a tool for perspective

Photo courtesy of Carlie Currier

I love words that can have more than one meaning.  Those words give my card readings multi-layered nuances.  For instance, when I read Shaman Oracle Cards for a client, there’s one card called “Shaman of Reflection.” I decide how to interpret it when I look at it and my client together. I’ll get a certain feeling.  Sometimes I know that it means thinking hard about something, pondering, considering an action and the consequences.  Other times I just know it means seeing a reflection of yourself in something else, someone else, or taking a good look within ourselves and at our actions.  Similarly, when I was asked to write about “reflection” this month I debated which tract to take.

On one hand ’tis the season for reflecting on our blessings, friendships and family.  There are many ways to do just that.  I have a friend who says that every night before she falls asleep, she goes through the alphabet naming a blessing she has experienced that day for every letter.  Like “A” is for the air I breathe, “B” is for the birds that fly, etc.  The premise behind this is you think of only good things that have happened to you during the day. I have tried this and I never get past “H” before I am in a dream state.  Think I may start with “Z” and work back next time.

On the other hand, ’tis also the season for taking a good hard look in the mirror and reflecting on the real you, seeing ourselves as others do.  Call it meditation. Call it preparation for making a New Year’s resolution.  But reflecting on our shortcomings, our strengths and our weaknesses, precedes any change we want or need to make.  And who among us does not need to either acknowledge our strengths or attempt to change something about ourselves?  I need to change how I react to unexpected changes.  I know I can handle things as they come, but when something unexpected pops up, I can freak.     

Shaman Of Reflections

For instance, I had an unexpected additional rider show up for my therapeutic riding class one day.  I wanted the kids to “pin the tail on the turkey” while steering their horse from turkey picture to turkey picture in the arena.  I freaked. Name? Riding level?  My husband, God bless him, can distill any situation into a simple analogy.  When I told him how distressed I was, he just said,  “All you had to do was say – Here kid, here’s a feather. Stick it in the turkey’s tail.”  I stopped, stared at him and said, “Thanks for putting this in perspective for me.”  Yes, that’s all I had to do, really.  Getting upset was non-productive.  I’m going to work on that for next year – staying calm and carrying on.

So how do you “keep calm and carry on”? There are books, articles and websites, but a few suggestions are common to all.

Breathe*

This simple solution was on every list. Slow breaths with long exhalations were described as essential to calmness and a great way to reduce agitation. The long exhale lowers heart rate, respiration rate and blood pressure. A few deep breaths can relax you in a crisis or enable you to face conflict in a more considered way.

Stop Catastrophizing*

Ask yourself: ‘Is this an inconvenience? A major inconvenience? Or is it a genuine catastrophe?

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff and Counting to 10*

Not all tasks are equally important. Some of them can remain undone for later with no major consequences. Setting priorities helps maintain a sense of control and “Counting to 10” gives you the distance needed for a new perspective. It makes you realize, for instance, that perhaps the problem you are attacking isn’t the primary issue after all. **

Also, I came across a book written by Mark Reinecke, PhD, a psychologist, psychiatry professor, and anxiety researcher, called Little Ways to Keep Calm and Carry On: Twenty Lessons for Managing Worry, Anxiety, and Fear.  The publishers describe that the book presents twenty simple lessons based in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) that readers can use to relieve everyday anxiety on the spot and to develop resilience.  Both the editorial reviews and customers’ reviews are great.  I read as much as I could on the kindle preview and found it more scientific in its approach for those of you who want that kind of approach. I’m contemplating buying it.  The price was so reasonable.