Live and Let Live: A philosophy for strong relationships

by Vera Remes

art by Kennedy Shenberg

Everyone we meet, if only for a minute, we relate to in some way.  Think of yourself walking in the mall, throngs of people passing to the left and right.  You think very little about them, don’t even look them in the eye. You’re in live and let live mode. But if someone fell, would you step over them or help them up? If someone stole your wallet, would you chase them, struggle over it or let them have it since they must need it more than you.  Whatever you do, you are “relating”.  

Personally, I like the “live and let live” way of being. I can honestly look at a situation unfolding before me–a parent scolding a child, two people arguing–and keep my nose out of it, at least to a point. If it comes to blows, someone being physically hurt, my values require me to act.

Live and let live

This attitude applies in my relationships with family and friends.  I have developed a dichotomy where, as part of Raven Reiki, I give counsel to clients on a variety of issues. Not only do clients want to know what the Oracle Cards tell them about their future, but also what to do about current situations–such as a son who got married and never visits. You could say I relate to my clients in a much closer way than to my family and friends. It’s easier for me to do that since my counseling sessions last 30 minutes and my family is 24/7.

We relate to others in a variety of ways Photo courtesy of JoAnna Schillaci

As for friendship, these days I seldom reach out to others to start a friendship.  I am content to surround myself with a few close friends and family.  I don’t need crowds.  Friendships that I have developed over long periods came from a pool of persons with similar interests–healing, horses, therapeutic riding, genealogy…  During my time with these individuals, I have become used to their foibles. I feel able to make a decision on whether their quirks and my quirks are compatible.

Relate to self first

Having to start over with “relationships” since retiring and moving to PA, has taught me to go slow.  I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. I tried that and it didn’t work.  If I don’t vibrate on the same frequency as someone else, there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. My belief mirrors that of Marc and Angel Chernoff, professional coaches and authors of “1,000+ Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”–Giving up on a relationship doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.

Mind Key writer and belief coach, Wendy Watson-Hallowell, wrote about the topic of letting go of relationships that no longer serve in order to grow personally and professionally earlier this month as well.

Relationships with others are important to cultivate but I believe that to offer true friendship or a relationship to another, you must first be content with yourself and capable of being alone. Only then will be able to self-relate so that you have something to offer to another.

What you have to offer might surprise you

Are you unsure what you might have to offer to another? You can seek to know yourself better through various services I provide. These include past life regression/future life progression, shamanic extraction healing, and shamanic journeying, among others.  I explain how this works and more on my website RavenReiki.com, and in The Daily Key’s article on the therapeutic effects of past life regression/future life progression. 

As a trained Harner Method Shamanic Counselor I teach the skills necessary to embark on a Shamanic journey. A journey could answer questions you may have either about everyday issues or life changing events.  Imagine having the wisdom of your guardian angels and spirit guides at your fingertips and other powerful growth experiences. These experiences provide you with more to offer the relationships in your life.  Visit the Mind Key Marketplace to learn more about setting up a session with me.  After all, everyone we meet we relate to in some way.