Looking in the mirror: All relationships reflect our relationship-with-self

The toughest and hardest relationship we will ever have in our lives is our relationship with self.

The inner child that lives within has hurts and fears that dictate how we react and relate to others over the course of our lives. That which we dislike and have not embraced inside ourselves gets mirrored back to us by others we encounter. When we are upset by other people’s actions and words, we must look in the mirror to discover what we are not loving about ourselves.

Letting go of the past

The more we let go of past hurts, not take things others do personally, forgive our faults and stop believing untruths about ourselves based on what others have told us, the better off we will be. When we are at peace within ourselves, the more at peace we will be with the world and in our relationships.

Because we are born dependent on others, we learn that our happiness and well-being are beyond our control. This sets us up to become dependent on others to fulfill our needs. The reality though, is that our health, happiness and joy are totally within our power and control. They all stem from our relationship with self.

The prologue to Eric Butterworth’s book, Discover The Power Within You, retells an old Hindu legend of how God hid man’s divinity inside himself. Ever since, man has been going up and down the earth, climbing, digging, diving, exploring and searching for something that is already inside himself. The ultimate hide and seek game.

The turning point

Most of us go through life on this wild goose chase until we have an epiphany, usually due to a traumatic incident or hardship we face in life.

My turning point was experiencing Crohn’s disease and fighting for my way back to health. Along the way, I discovered how my physical health, emotional and mental happiness, and spiritual joy were within my control. I realized I was in charge of how I wanted to be, feel, think and create. It wasn’t someone else’s responsibility.

When we fully shine inner peace and love on ourselves that is when we can shine that same radiant light on the world. That is the ultimate “secret” to life–loving ourselves unconditionally; the good, the bad and the ugly.

Only then can we achieve Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream of each of us being truly being free at last.