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family & kids Tag

Mind KEY / Posts tagged "family & kids"
Becoming an authentic caregiver and mother means using your parenting tools effectively.

Being an authentic parent: Mothering with magic

By Danielle Rose Many mothers today work, whether outside or inside the home. Whether a single parent, married, or living with a tribe of helping hands, moms have a lot to juggle. In today’s fast-paced, internet-and-technology-run day and age, how do they find time to slow down and focus on parenting?   Step one: Stay true to you While in the thick of motherhood, entrepreneur Stephanie Mathews realized that she had to maintain a sense of self, allowing space to continue to grow and develop, while still being the best mother she could be. Stephanie believes that parenting doesn’t have to be “hard” or “lonely.” As the founder and owner of Magical Mothering, she empowers her tribe to be authentic to their vision-of-self, and teaches others how to step out...

Is your glass half full or your glass half empty?

Focus on Relationships: From glass half empty to a full life

by Vera Remes Glass half empty My husband used to be a “glass half empty” guy.  Being a police officer, this served him well and kept him alive, I suspect. As a glass half empty guy, he was always thinking how a situation could go sideways when confronting an unknown.   When we retired, his glass half empty mentality remained.   No matter what was going on, he continued to look at the less positive side of things. That was, until recently, when his focus changed. I’ve learned over the last 28 years of marriage that confrontation does no good and that, if left to marinate, my husband will eventually figure out for himself how glorious life is. That said, I still suffered the initial cringe when I could focus further...

Healthy ego development and the blank slate

Parenting without ego: from Blank slate to Healthy self

by Cris McCullough Is a child’s mind a blank slate or are children driven by their egos? When it comes to the word “ego,” there are two definitions. As a noun, it describes “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.” It implies the cultivation of self-worth, self-respect, self-image, and self-confidence. In the realm of psychoanalysis, it describes “the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.”   Our Children—Blank slate, or ego-driven? As a parent, one can blur the lines between the need to inspire our children to develop a healthy ego, which will help them navigate the reality of their world without harm, and our own ego’s need to be bolstered by the...

Five communication tips for seeing your partner’s point of view

By Joseph Gonzalez Relationships are complex, and relationship communication is one of the most difficult aspects of any relationship. Whether romantic, platonic, or familial, they require effort. The ego and how we were raised plays a large part in how we perceive our partners. They also play a role in our relationships at large. Successful relationship communication shifts how the ego filters our interactions with our loved ones. This can help avoid undue judgment and result in greater relationship satisfaction. Allow the following approaches to enrich your relationships. Allow them to open your mind to new possibilities for strengthening the bond of love.   [caption id="attachment_6761" align="alignleft" width="206"] Relationship communication is key. Image by Kennedy Shenberg.[/caption] 1. Think about where they’ve come from It can be easy to forget how different...

Conscious parenting

Parenting without ego: Living and teaching our children safety and authenticity

By Danielle Rose If our ego is a guidance structure that we created for ourselves as children, then the best way to ensure our children create their own healthy guidance system is through conscious parenting. That means parenting without ego. That means seeing our ego for what it is, and not coloring everything through that lens. It involves facing the fears of parenting, of your own youth, of your future and the future of your children. It involves taking steps to become whole and forgetting what others have to say about the matter. Parenting without ego also involves incorporating all of our inner voices into one coherent direction. Sound overwhelming? Well, so is parenthood. The good news is that, as always, we’ve got the keys to...

Exhaustion: It’s time to tell a new story

As a woman, as a parent, as simply a person living in today’s fast-paced environment, we could all use more rest and better sleep. Not to mention, better sleep results in better focus. Author and women’s wellness advocate, Karen Brody, has created a 40-day yoga nidra program that makes yoga meditation relevant and accessible to women around the world. In this article, she shares how our ego-driven perspective on rest can be the one factor that keeps us from finding truly healing sleep.   By Karen Brody Let's face it, women today are tired. I support busy women leaders, and here is what they tell me all the time:   "I spent years getting educated and now I don't have any energy to work." "I love my work, but my kids...

Who do I listen to in here?

In this article, Wendy Watson-Hallowell, The Belief Coach, explores how our inner voices can often offer conflicting views. Our inner voices being what drives us toward action and growth. Indecision and goals become intertwined in a quagmire of stuck-ness when our inner compass is out-of-whack in this way. This is often compounded by the very human desire to find answers outside of the self. However, our intuition, inner child and ego have all the answers we need. Bringing these very different, yet ultimately self-serving voices into alignment can help us better understand our path. This can also show us to achieve our wellness and success goals.   By Wendy Watson-Hallowell   We each have a variety of voices inside our minds that take different positions and drive us toward...

Learning should never stop: How learning supplements the ego

By Marla Funez The common phrase, "you learn something new every day " often gets taken for granted, especially when it comes to discussing learning and how education balances ego. However, learning is an ongoing process that continues as a person ages. The ego is a filter for how we live our lives, and it continues to grow the more you learn and supplement it with knowledge. The benefits of constantly educating yourself include better decision making, confidence in your decisions, and the ability to balancing the ego. The ego has a strong hold on our perception of the world and therefore, how we interact with it. Even though people cannot control what happens around them, decisions can be controlled. By first having as much information possible...

Avoiding arguments by removing ego can increase relationship wealth and health

Are you committed to being right (Ego based) or your relationship (heart based)?

By Barbara Steingas Marriage, I have found, is about compromise and avoiding arguments by removing ego. About twenty years ago, my late husband and I went to the Big Island of Hawaii to attend an Anthony Robbins multi-day seminar called Life Mastery. It covered five main areas including relationships. Here, we discovered that the quality of our lives, particularly of our relationships, is based on the questions we ask ourselves.   The importance of questions From the time we are young, most of us are taught to ask disempowering victim-based questions. Questions such as, “Why are people doing that to me?” Or “Why are people being such jerks?” These types of questions revolve around our ego and create a separation between us and the other person. They also cause...

Defining personality, building healthy ego

Who are you? A look at Ego and Personality Development

by Danielle Rose and Libby Reilly Defining personality and how your ego forms can be a confusing task. This is because, at its heart, personality is who you are. What you are is a daughter, a son, a grandma, a teacher, a friend, a fill-in-the-blank. But who you are is the base of your being. Strip away all the labels and the emotions. Strip away anything but a given situation and how you react to it—that is your personality. Why are we talking about personality types in an issue on ego?  Because our personality is part of what shapes our ego, and how we perceive and interact with the world. How do you interact with the world? How can a better understanding of who you are...

Gain perspective and refocus your lens

Gain Perspective through Healthy Patterns

by Theresa Birmingham One of the most difficult skills in life is the ability to gain perspective and to not only gain it, but to hold on to that hard-earned skill. Basically, just like anything else in life, perspective is not a once-in-a-life “Oh, I’ve got it” type experience. In order to truly gain perspective, one must understand that each day is a gamble, and we choose how we will react, how we will understand, and how we will move forward in a given situation.   Triggers We’ve learned that sometimes those flaws we see in others are actually flaws that are within ourselves. When we change our perspective, we can understand that everyone has a path. With this understanding, we often find that our judgments are many times...

College fosters a perspective of self-expression essential for adulthood

By Joseph Gonzalez Many see college as a step to the next part of their lives towards adulthood. And it is. But college is also a new world that broadens our experience of the world. The shift from a sheltered life to a broadened college perspective can prepare you for true self-expression and for career and life in a way that classes alone cannot. My college perspective I came from a house that didn’t 100% shelter me but which also didn’t encourage me to socialize either. In my middle school and high school years, I was content with playing video games all day, and not going out with friends. it’s safe to say my social skills weren’t up to par with others at that point. When I got to...

Life after heartbreak: From a bleak diagnosis to a miracle network of friendship

There is hope for life after heartbreak. Mind Key's New Jersey editor, Kelly Rockey, tells her personal story of turning heartbreaking news into a great story of love, friendship and fresh perspectives. When Kelly discovered her son was blind because of a genetic retinal disorder called Lebers Congenital Amaurosis (LCA), she found a support system of parents who had walked this road before. This support system soon became Kelly's best friends, and lifeline during difficult times, instilling in her gratitude and appreciation for things that may initially seem like bad news. We hope that these incredible stories of gratitude and growth during difficult times will help others see that there is hope for a better life after heartbreak.   By Kelly Rockey The best Christmas gift At the very end...

Teaching financial literacy can secure young people for a future with more choices

Invest in the future by investing in our children’s financial literacy

by Christopher Hallinan, Fall 2016 graduate of William Paterson University, NJ Student loan debt. The cold black mass that hangs over college graduates and follows the millennial generation around like an decrepit, stalking butler. The debt is here to stay, and for many young professionals can be a death sentence, a foot in an early grave if they let it. However, teaching financial literacy may be the key to eliminating this debt completely. A 2017 article published by Student Loan Hero, a resource helping student loan borrowers understand their student loans and make intelligent repayment decisions, found that college loan debt has reached a staggering: $1.3 trillion, or $37,172 per student. A figure that even the best-versed in financial literacy find disheartening to think about, and which...

children of addicts must make their own way

Children of addiction: Love, abuse, resentment and recovery

 by Melissa Cassiano, William Paterson University, NJ student writer About 28 million Americans are children of substance abusers, 11 million of whom are under the age of 18, according to the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACA) Children of Addicted Parents Fact Sheet. The fate of an addict’s children, is directly intertwined to that of the parent. Children of addicts, specifically those addicted to drugs and alcohol, are not destined to become addicts themselves, nor do they always grow to resent their sick parent.   How addiction affects families The possibility of abuse is a concern for children of addicts.  According to the NACA, an overwhelming number of child welfare professionals claim substance abuse is the number one cause of the dramatic rise in child maltreatment, and that...

sexual dysfunction is usually stemmed in spirituality and energy issues

Sexual dysfunction: A physical or energetic representation of health?

by Dr. Lisa Avila [caption id="attachment_5543" align="alignright" width="244"] To truly express our sexuality, we must release any latent judgements we may have been conditioned to believe about what’s acceptable or unacceptable sexually. Art by Sean David Wright[/caption] When I first read this quote by Caroline Myss, one of my earlier teachers and mentors, I didn't know what to do with it. Most of my life has been devoted to finding the root causes of what ails the body and the mind. As a healthcare practitioner, I found endless opportunities to explore the validity of the above quote. Later in my career, I spent time exploring the bridges between physical discomfort, emotional/spiritual distress, and body chemistry balance. In examining sexual dysfunction, I learned that the interplay between sex...

women in cloaks by Alma Carel

Sex in two worlds: A Middle Eastern perspective on intimacy

By Colleen Jennings If you are from a Western country, you probably have never stopped to consider the amount of contact you have with the opposite sex throughout the course of your daily life. You went to school with boys and girls and spent all your days with friends and family members of both sexes. Sex, and the understanding of it, is flavored by each of these experiences and encounters. However, if you grew up in the Middle East sex no longer looks the same, as contact with members of the opposite sex was most likely severely limited. How does understanding this perspective offer our more open culture insight into improving the quality of the sexual experiences? In most Middle Eastern countries—but particularly in the more conservative,...

teaching kids intimacy and healthy relationship boundaries

Teaching your teen about healthy relationship boundaries

by Charla Dury As a mom of growing young men, I struggle with parental boundaries.  It is difficult to know when (and how) to give my kids advice about romantic relationships, let alone teaching kids about intimacy. I enjoy watching my boys happy in their relationships, but as with the rest of life, that’s not always the case.  I’ve also watched with disappointment as each of my boys have cultivated codependent tendencies. Knowing that they learned these relationship “moves” from me and their dad makes me sad. As a parent in today’s society, we’ve all heard that kids learn by example. It has never been more apparent, however, than it is when watching as your child makes the mistakes you had hoped that they didn’t see.  The times...

letting go of toxic relationships

When relationships hold you back–Letting go of the limiting beliefs, not the connection

Toxic relationships take energy away from our personal path of growth. Ending a relationship that no longer serves us, however, can be a difficult journey. Someone once said to me, “Some people are easy to love, as long as they are in Australia.”  Some people I can only love as long as they live on Mars. The point is that sometimes toxic relationships make it impossible to do that which we love.  When that happens, we have two choices: try to change the relationship, or change the way we experience it. Wendy Watson-Hallowell, Mind Key’s own Belief Coach, shares how we can self-fulfill that which our relationships do not provide, and thereby forge a richer relationship with ourselves, and with those we love most.   Letting go of toxic...

attachment style is formed in youth, and follows us into adulthood

Heal the wounds of youth through romantic relationships

Falling in love means devoting energy into what another person is thinking or feeling. Research indicates that the childhood attachment style we develop have a lasting effect on our adult romantic relationships. Intimate partners often resemble either, or both parents in a variety of ways. Childhood experiences, whether positive or negative, impact the attachments formed in adult relationships, as discussed in a 2005 study published in the journal of Attachment and Human Development.   How childhood relationships affect intimacy as an adult According to the Center for Disease Control, 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce, meaning that few children witness healthy relationships and conflict resolution, leading many to fall into the same conditioned habits and behaviors of their parents. According to a review published by R. Chris Fraley of...

give a child a flower

The true meaning of Santa Claus – Giving

[caption id="attachment_5147" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo courtesy of www.theconversation.com[/caption] In this age of commercialization, how do we teach our kids the true meaning of Christmas? Perhaps you’re a parent who is considering telling your children the truth about Santa this year. This can be a tricky subject, especially when determining the appropriate age. In an article by Good Housekeeping, Caroline Picard describes a story about a parent who tells her child that Santa Claus exists in all of us, and it’s their time to become “a Santa” by giving an anonymous gift to someone they love, teaching the lesson of unselfish giving. “In our family, we have a special way of transitioning the kids from receiving from Santa to becoming a Santa. This way, the Santa construct is not a lie...

Rhode Island shore

A local’s guide to gift giving–Rhode Island

Mind Key Rhode Island (Rhody) is growing as fast as The Mind Key Project itself!  In one of my many articles for the Newport Daily News, I was asked to write a story describing all I want from Aquidneck Island, the heart of Mind Key Rhody. We hope those of you in our local community support these local businesses this season as well.  For those of our readers who don’t live here, consider this an opportunity to visit someplace new (let Danielle be your tour guide--email me to learn how), or to pick up some of the global services these business offer online. [caption id="attachment_5115" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo courtesy of Dave Hansen, Newport Daily News[/caption] The ocean has always called to me, so last December I finally...

Thriving in a Blended Family

There are different kinds of family units.  Single parent, the Traditional family, and now the Blended family, a recurring situation where couples merge and raise a family where biological and un-biological children come together.  Writer and Mind Key member Tamara Rokicki, shares her blended family journey through her personal blog. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blended Family: ‘a family consisting of a couple and their children from this and all previous relationships’. I often get asked how I manage to survive—and thrive—in a blended environment. Many people expect this arrangement to be frustrating, something that either works or completely falls apart. I’ve met parents who automatically assumed there is a ‘resentment’ component among our children—biological, adopted, or step. The latest question has been, “Is it hard to be in a blended family...

Motherhood: The ultimate relationship-with-self

Motherhood changed me. Danielle Rose as a brand new mother of two That's kind of funny to say, isn't it?  I mean, doesn't it go without saying?  Where there was once one, now there are two… two bodies sharing a body, two schedules to navigate, and two egos competing for space (and despite what anyone says, babies' egos are huge!). Then there came two… two children that is.  And no one tells you that having two kids isn't twice the work of having one—it's ten times the work.  Because with one blissful baby it's impossible to see how the intersection of bodies, schedules, and egos multiply exponentially. Ultimately, what happened was that I lost myself in the wild tangle of everything childhood.  Motherhood became an all-encompassing title that didn't...