By Barbara Steingas
We all have goals and dreams we want to achieve–or hope to achieve. However, hoping for something is like chasing a carrot we will never catch. Usually we start off confident and empowered about our goals and dreams, especially if the path to those goals are facilitated by someone or something, like by a seminar leader, or by making a dream or vision board. Consciously we really want these goals and dreams and initially feel motivated to achieving them. However, the self-sabotage pattern sets in after scratching the surface of a goal. Self-sabotage is when we say or do something that ruins our success and happiness. We often don’t achieve some or many of our goals and dreams because subconsciously, we don’t feel worthy or deserving of it.
My self-sabotage pattern
For me it was how I wanted my health back and didn’t want to be chronically ill anymore. So I set out to find my healing puzzle pieces to put me back together again, like humpty dumpty. Along the way I found many of my pieces, yet couldn’t seem to get it all together. I was on an up-and-down roller coaster. One day I would feel better, and then the next day I would enable the self-sabotage pattern by eating things that upset my digestive system.
The negative self-beliefs we learn growing up, especially before age of six, are the root causes of self-destructive behavior that hinders success, happiness and confidence. These beliefs are stored in our subconscious. Eventually, I discovered theses self-sabotaging beliefs in my subconscious programming. I needed to find ways to peel off those onion layers and replace those patterns with ones that served my goals and dreams. I set off on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement that continues to this day. There are always ways to be better in our lives and allow new goals and dreams to manifest.
Recognizing the pattern–the key to success
This is not about perfection, but about recognizing when we jump on the self-sabotage hamster wheel, so that we can get off. We have the free will and choice to do so and not stay victimized by our circumstances and conditioned patterns. Like stimulus response– this behavior is more reactionary than response. Reactions tend to be automated from the past, whereas responses take the conscious effort of being in the present moment and recognizing what our heart is feeling/telling us. Click this link to discover more about overcoming self-sabotage – http://www.eruptingmind.com/self-sabotage-the-subconscious-mind/
I was able to unveil one of the root causes of my self-sabotaging pattern by watching the “The Secret.” I don’t recall the exact part in the video, all I remember is getting an ah-ha moment of how I wasn’t allowing myself to feel worthy or deserving of health. It occurred to me that I was subconsciously hiding behind the crutch of illness because I didn’t know how to say “no” and stand up for myself. I was such a people-pleaser and wanted people to like me. I was afraid to disappoint or hurt them. Therefore in a dysfunctional way, the disease became my bad cop and my protector.
Once this became clear, I realized how I had skills to empower myself and I no longer needed to rely on that programming. Then, I was finally able to break free and stand in my power. I unleashed the heroine inside of me and was no longer the victim of my circumstances. As a result, I have been off medication over 15 years and feel the healthiest I’ve ever felt in my life physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
How to get help breaking the self-sabotaging pattern
Once we get our subconscious and conscious minds on the same page, we are unstoppable and truly achieve the life we deserve. We can be full of health, happiness and joy, and shine our full radiant light of peace and love on ourselves and the world. To do this we must start questioning our underlying beliefs that aren’t serving us, monitor our self-talk, and avoid bad influencers. Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D. is a master on self-talk and has written several books teaching people how to change negative self-talk to positive and stop the self-sabotage so we can finally achieve our goals and dreams.
Mind Key’s Belief Coach, Wendy Watson-Hallowell, can help shift self-sabotaging beliefs through her multi-week coaching program. She helps to shift limiting beliefs into empowering ones. Learn more about my experience with Wendy here.
Also, I help people discover their self-sabotaging patterns and then help transform them to a self-empowering pattern. Contact me at Barbara@radiantlifecoach4u.com to learn more about how I can help you break free of old patterns and start the next stage of your life fresh.